Many of the people I work with are neurodivergent, often discovering this in adulthood. A common experience is feeling like you missed a rulebook everyone else seems to have, leading to years of masking, exhaustion, and loneliness. Recognising that you are neurodivergent or receiving a diagnosis can bring mixed emotions and there’s often little support to make sense of what it actually means for you.

Is it autism, ADHD, or AuDHD? How do I know if I’m neurodivergent?

Both autism and ADHD are neurodevelopmental conditions. In both, there are differences in the way the brain develops and how neurotransmitters function, particularly dopamine (the reward chemical). Autism, ADHD and other neurodivergent conditions affect the parts of the brain that relate to planning, organisation, sensory processing and regulating emotions. In practice, that means they influence the way you experience the world. In a world designed for the neurotypical brain, this can leave you feeling like there’s something fundamentally wrong with you.

Autism tends to affect how a person communicates, and experiences interactions with others and the world. ADHD tends to relate to impulse control, restlessness and attention.

You can have ADHD and also be autistic. This is sometimes referred to as AuDHD.

People who are autistic, have ADHD, or both might:

• Struggle with their emotions, sometimes to connect with them and other times feeling overwhelmed by them.
• Find it hard to filter sensory input, like multiple conversations happening around them, bright lights, or certain textures, flavours or noises.
• Struggle to know how to be or respond in social situations, and with interpreting social cues.
• Be able to focus intensely on certain things, but struggle to engage with others.

Different people will have different experiences of what it’s like to be neurodivergent, but all neurodivergent conditions are lifelong. Often, people start to seek diagnosis when it no longer feels possible to hold things together, and life feels very difficult to cope with.

We often talk about the neurodivergence as existing on line from “mild” to severe:

It’s not quite that simple, though. Autism and ADHD can coexist with learning disabilities or other mental or physical health issues that can’t be separated. It can be more helpful to think about the ways that autism affects each individual:

For example, someone might struggle more with focus and attention, but less with sensory processing.

Why working outdoors can be good if you’re neurodivergent

Working outdoors can work really well for a neurodivergent brain. It gives you an opportunity to think and process in a different way that can feel slightly less formal. There isn’t really a right way to process, or to explain what’s happening for you. The important thing is that you feel able to communicate in a way that makes you feel understood.

Being outdoors, and moving in the outdoors, facilitates that. For example if you’re autistic, being outdoors can help calm your nervous system, and also takes the pressure off making eye contact or filling the silences. For many people with ADHD, they find their brains are calmer when they’re actually doing something active as well, or using part of their brain. Being connected with nature is very grounding.

What can make autism and ADHD harder to recognise in women and girls

A lot of research into Autism and ADHD is focussed on males, and many of the diagnostic criteria for autism still reflect that. That means that many women and girls are missed, or given a different diagnosis first (like anxiety, depression, or borderline personality disorder.,

Women and girls often become skilled at masking, and will often learn how they should behave by copying what others do, rehearsing conversations and facial expressions in advance, hiding emotional struggles and having special interests that help them to fit in (like cuddly toys, skincare, psychology or horses) rather than stereotypical interests such as trains, cars or numbers.Women and girls are more likely to internalise their struggles and seem OK to those around them.

Many people only start to question that they might be neurodivergent when it’s not possible to hold things together any more.

Realising you’re neurodivergent as an adult

Realising you’re neurodivergent as an adult can bring an overwhelming mix of emotions. You might feel relief at being able to explain why things are how they are. Many people find themselves reflecting on life up to now, on school, relationships, jobs and family. It can also be very hard. Some people feel grief for things that could have been different, and that they spent so long feeling like they were somehow wrong or bad. You might also feel angry that people missed it. It can also really shake your sense of self, and many people struggle with who the “real” version of them is.

It’s also common to feel like an imposter. If you’ve survived childhood without a diagnosis, it’s easy to question yourself.

How counselling can help

Research increasingly shows that standard counselling approaches don’t always work well for neurodivergent people, which can reinforce the belief that there is something wrong with you.

Instead of trying to fix you, neuroaffermative therapy is about empowering you and supporting you. This often includes:

• Learning about your sensory needs and neurodivergent traits, and finding ways to work with these.
• Exploring strategies to help with executive tasks like planning, initiating tasks, and orgnaising.
• Processing difficult past experiences or trauma.
• Working with shame or a sense of being different.
• Developing a sense of identiy.
• Managing overwhelming emotions and recognising what you need.
• Working through past experiences, like being misunderstood, missed, or treated as if something was wrong with you
• Finding ways to feel more connected with other people.

How I work

I have training and experience working with in ADHD and autism, and understand how different this can look from person to person. Most of us can’t neatly describe what we’re struggling with in just one label or as one clear problem. Instead, our experiences overlap, change over time, and interact, making it hard to know where to begin.   Rather than trying to fit you into a box, we will take time to notice and understand what is happening for you so that we can work with the while picture.

I don’t believe in a “one-size-fits-all” approach, because strategies that don’t fit how your brain works simply won’t work well. Instead, I adapt therapy to your specific strengths, needs and the way you think and process, using tools such as psychoeducation and sensory profiling to help you understand yourself better, reduce overwhelm, and feel more comfortable.

My work is grounded in evidence-based approaches, and I draw on approaches like CBT, DBT and ACT to help you manage . I also use tools like sensory profiling and psychoeducation to help you understand what you find difficult, what you need, and how to meet those needs

Creating a safe and comfortable space is part of the work. Some people prefer not to have direct eye contact. If moving or fidgeting or doing something with your hands helps you, that’s fine. Sometimes you might need more direct questions from me, or space to think.

What working together looks like

The first sessions are about building trust and helping you to feel safe and heard, both with me and in the space we’re working in.

1. First session

We start by getting a sense of what’s going on for you: your sensory preferences, executive function patterns, your strengths, and what you’ve already tried. We’ll also talk about how you feel about being outdoors, including walking, different weather and environment, so we can find the location and pace that work for you.

2. Early sessions after therapy has started

We’ll set goals so that we can keep the bigger picture in mind. You might have a really clear idea of your goals, or you might just know you want things to be different. Early sessions often involve us working together to identify what you want from therapy.

3. Ongoing sessions

Some sessions are led by you and what’s happening right now, others will work towards longer term goals. Sessions can take many forms:

• Walking and talking side by side, or finding somewhere quiet to stop and sit for a while
• Interacting with the natural world around us, like noticing sounds, textures or wildlife.
• Building a toolkit of strategies to make life feel more manageable.
• Learning more about how your brain works and why certain things feel the way they do.
• Working more visually: this can include structured work using tools from CBT, DBT or other techniques.
• Working creatively, with what we find around us or with pen and paper.
• Sometimes, we might work on things for you to try or practise between sessions.

Our work is collaborative, so we work together both in terms of planning and carrying out therapy, but also in terms of choosing where we walk and how we use the session. I will support and guide you as needed.

Although we may have a longer term plan, there is always space for what feels most important in the moment. That might mean walking further when you need to move, or slowing down when you need to stop. I will check in with you regularly, and if something isn’t quite right, whether that’s the route, the pace or the way we’re working, we’ll change or adapt it.

Questions you may have

Starting therapy

I offer a no cost 30 minute initial consultation by telephone, Zoom or face to face. It’s a chance to talk about what’s going on and work out together whether I’m the right fit.